sui generis

'; } //--> sui generis

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+ a zat design +

Sunday, June 19, 2005

What in e World am I doing here?

I haven't touched yobsn for 8 months.. imagine that. Sorry for the neglect old friend.

This little page over here brings back such wonderful memories. Why don't I start my renewal of yobsn with it's history. =)

See the "sui generis" over there? It's thanks to Zat.
Ok, maybe this whole blog is thanks to Zat. Haha. Have I bought you your lunch or coffee yet, I haven't forgotten? And it actually means unique. Sui Generis is 'unique' in latin. That's what old Gene over here is. Unique. But how unique am I? I'm kiasu, a mugger, a blockhead and insensitive. Typical Singaporean. Maybe I should have really gone to VJ (no insult to VJ ppl, my best friend and cousin are there and they're all great ppl) to mug all the way to 4As.

Anyway, back to the origins of this blog. As you can see, yobsn is actually 'yo' and 'bsn'.

Bsn has been my life partner for 4 years now. Ok, maybe I changed her 4 times but the tone is getting better. I don't sound like a bari sax anymore.. Muahaha.

Yo! is probably the best time of my life. There we were in 2003. The world was our stage, nothing could stop us. Hungry for Gold, we got it. Line dancing was the past time. The craziest things ever possible, all done that. Sunny.. (with the shoulders) I miss all that.

Oh man, I miss Jules' cookies, Guang Rong('s inhaler), Chong Hu's appetite, Ricko's bed, Wei Jian's pep talks, Joan Joan. Where in the world is Lynnie! Wang's the man. Audrey? Vincent? Yoohoo? Aaron, you're different. I even miss Alan Low Wai Lun. =) Zat, can you just sunny again. Haha. Really cracks me up. I am hugely proud to be from the Yo! Gang.

And there's Timmy boy! =) Edmund can.. Although i'm going to the same tuition as him now. Ah mah (Shi'en) and pervert Soh (Deren). Loh Cheryl! Kalaiselvam s/o Panisilvam my ultimate!!! The students, I emphasise, STUDENTS only (and of course some teachers like Jared and Patsy) of Temasek Sec rock! Minus the gangsters, delinquents etc.

My sister is cooing about my baby cousin like a paedophilic freak right now..

That was my past.

And it still rocks my world.

Now it's a totally different environment. And wooh.. what a ride it's been. It's been only 7 months and i've learnt so much. This is just the very beginning. All that bout my fashion sense and image. But some things are still the same. Have to keep the discipline, the muggeredness, the total band committment, the price to pay at the top. Oh.. Have I mentioned that the higher you go the lonelier you get. That's reality. Hey, even Mal's got her stuff to do although we can still maintain that trust.

But SA rocks! =) Coz that's the only place you get chapel. Band chapel is going to rock the house right Lilian and Momo? =) I feel so free to know God here. =) I will never exchange that for the 'drive' in e top 5. I have to admit that there is close to zero motivation here and it's very slack, but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Woohoo!

My primary reason for coming to SA? I want to tell the whole world! But why upset the balance in the world. My world. My style of writing has changed I realise. I've grown. But that doesn't matter. Nothing else matters. Just looking to the short run and the eternally long run now. Other than that the only thing I can imagine myself doing is walking by a stream in the autumn forest endlessly searching. Ok, if you're going to start the "Aww.. He's emoing again once more" save it.

Opiates relieve pain. I wonder if emotional heartburn is included. Anyway i'll never destroy my life by smoking.

How nice if 3 good friends could travel the world helping the poor together. But nature is more my cup of tea. Furthermore, 3 is a crowd and we will realize that one E won't be able to survive the journey. The physical journey is nothing. It's the emotional pain that will slowly devour. Talking bout pain. I just had 2 bouts of it. In that pain lies something so beautiful. But it was still heart wrenching. In that pain also lies a syndrome. An IdcwoptbWiatc syndrome.

I'm crazy. 4 days and i'm still crazy. Phantom cannot stop running through my brain. What if I become the Phantom myself. Strangely, I also liken myself to someone who grows young. Yes.. grows YOUNG. He was such a poor chap, Max, never able to love. But alas, he had his chances. A second, and a third. Is life really so good that you get so many chances.

Honestly, i'll get more devastated in the days to come. I wonder if a particular someone would have some time to spare on a lovely night such as the 10th of July. Or even sometime around there. But wouldn't I be very selfish then?

If this is all a dream, please wake me up. Coz in this dream i'm a mugger, alone, cold and facing a hell lot of thunder and lightning in my face right now.

I pray that Mum will develop a heart of gold so that Whitey will be able to be part of P nite.

I pray that Whitey will be blessed and happy forever.

I want Whitey but I can't pray for that.

Puffer E.